Tuesday, August 23, 2011

The Firsts

You know how they say "There's a first time for everything"? Well, I do believe that this applies to me. I've been in school for a while and everything. I went back to CNM last year around this time to do what I thought would make me happy, but I just ended up being miserable. I was anxious all the time. I never felt at peace with what I was studying. And the same was way back in 09 at OBU. I was anxious, restless, and miserable. Even during the Welcome Week, when everyone else was having a blast. I was worried about my financial situation, my job situation, being away from my family, and all that jazz. So one of my "first time" experiences so far has been to actually be at peace with where God has me. It's an amazingly incredible feeling. I feel free to enjoy my classes and my surroundings and the people God has placed in my life right now. I'm not anxious about anything. I'm a little nervous about doing all this new stuff without anyone I really know near me or with me. But I am confident that as I follow after God on this adventure that He will provide the way. He's going to provide good friends, a great church, amazing professors to learn from, amazing experiences to grow in my relationship with Him, and all the things I'm going to need to survive. God is good, gracious, and merciful.

Yesterday was another "first" for me. It was my first day of work. I'll be working for a family that lives in town, and, basically, I'll be nannying for them. I'm really excited about this opportunity to share the love of my Savior with this precious family. I'm picking up the two oldest from school and then taking them home where they'll start their homework and do some work around the house and then play. I'll be supervising them and then making dinner for the family. I loved every second of what I did yesterday. The kids were great! And it was a fun time to be around kids again. Also, having this job will give me an opportunity to be an influence in the kids lives for Christ. I am not sure how much, or if, they go to church or anything like that, but by getting to be in their home, I know that I can at least show them how much I love and care for them and earn the right to tell them about who Christ is at some point down the road.

Today was yet another "first." I had my first couple of classes today, and they were pretty fantastic. I loved getting to listen to the professors talk about the subjects that they were so passionate about. I know that each of them have a wealth of knowledge, and that I will learn SO MUCH this semester if I just take the time to do all the work. (And there's going to be A LOT of work involved.) But God has blessed me with this opportunity, and I am going to take full advantage of it. Today was also the first chapel service of the semester. It was great too. We sang some hymns, and, oh my gracious, to hear all those voices praising the Lord was incredible! It reminded me a lot of Passion. Dr. Akin gave a great sermon/challenge to all the students. And God challenged me through his words. One thing that Dr. Akin said that struck me the most was this (and this is paraphrased): There are so many Christians and churches here in the US compared to the rest of the world. There are so many here, but so few there; why would God be calling SO MANY to stay when the world is in dire need of hands and feet to carry the Gospel to all nations, tribes, and tongues. What are my reasons of staying?
So, needless to say, I have been greatly challenged by those words, and I will be praying and asking for God to show me what I need to be doing. How does my life need to change in light of these words? And what is He wanting from me?

Anyway, everything is going great! I'm learning a lot! Doing a lot! And having a whole lot of fun!
God is good. ALL THE TIME!
Blessings.

Friday, August 12, 2011

My Mind is Claimed by Exhaustion

Well, as tired as I am...I still felt the need to write and get it all out. I would do it on paper, but these days my typing is so much faster than my writing. haha. I guess that's usually the way it goes though.
Anyway, today has been crazy.
I didn't sleep well last night, simply because I was excited/nervous about what was going to happen today. About who I was going to meet. About moving to a completely new area without knowing anyone, or even how to get around. About living with a complete stranger. About FINALLY starting this new adventure with God.
BUT God has brought me through this day.
Thank goodness! It is only because of Him that I am able to be writing this.

Anyway, I had to say goodbye to MG and her mom this morning, which was SO hard! I guess I didn't realize how close I had gotten to MG until I had to say goodbye. I held it together pretty well...until I got out of sight from their house. And then I started bawling. It was not a pretty sight, that's for sure.

The drive wasn't terrible at all. It actually went by a whole lot faster than I was expecting. And I discovered that I get REALLY good gas mileage on that drive. (I only used a little over half a tank.) Which means that I can be making a few more road trips down to Columbia when I am in desperate need of some family time. Yay!

I got here (here being SEBTS) and I had ABSOLUTELY no idea where to go. I was completely turned around. And I just didn't remember where I was supposed to go. I started panicing, but then I remembered that I had a map of campus that God had so lovingly reminded me I needed to get last night right in my purse. So I parked, pulled out the map, and then I knew just where I needed to be. So I went there, did all the logistical stuff I needed to do, and then I headed off to my dorm.

Where, when i pulled up, lots of people from a local church unloaded my car and took all my things up to my room. Yay! And there I found my roommate!
She's awesome! She really is. I'll do an intro later. But for now, her name is Rachel. And she's a sweetheart!
I also got to know her mom a little. (Also awesome!)
But I got all my unpacking done. And it's starting to look a lot more like home. It's weird that just adding some familiar things it changes everything. But I'm starting to like the place more and more as I spend more time here. I just need a couple of things to brighten up the walls, and that will be perfect.

After I unpacked, I didn't just want to sit here. So I decided to take a drive around town. Well, I almost got lost a couple of times. I just drove out in each direction to see where that would take me. But I didn't go too too far. And then I ended up coming back to the dorm and realizing that I needed a few essentials to get me through the next couple of days (and to claim my space in the freezer and the fridge). So I went to Walmart, which was fun, as always. It looked just like any other Walmart, which is always a good thing. You know, having a little bit of familiarness...it helps in a new place. I got what I needed and came back and finished getting things set up.

Then I got to play Capture the Flag in the Quad for a while. It was fun to meet and greet new people. And just have fun. Then Rachel, her mom, and I went for ice cream at a little ice cream shop that has homemade ice cream of like every flavor. And it was incredible.

So now I'm sitting here in my room. Alone. But totally okay with it.
I don't feel anxious about not knowing anyone. Or not having any close friends.
God has totally shown me that He's provided all along the way thus far, and He's not going to stop now. I can trust Him, and I do. I know that He's going to take care of me. And I have complete confidence that it's all going to work out in His timing and His will.

It is def. time for bed....I'm such a loser. I go to bed early. Ha. Oh well. I like sleep.

Monday, August 8, 2011

The End. But A New Beginning.

Well, the summer has most definitely come to an end. Most definitely.
It was amazing. But, honestly, I'm so happy. It was a long summer filled with so much. And I'm still processing everything that went down.

The last week of service was extremely long. We were so busy the entire time. And it seemed that were was so much happening all the time, which there certainly was. It was completely insane, and I was completely and utterly exhausted by the end of the week.

So it was long, exhausting, and emotionally draining. We had to say goodbye to everyone. And I mean everyone. Our kids, the lifeguards, our host family, our church family, our teammates, and each other. Talk about difficult. I was not ready in the least for those goodbyes, but somehow, tears never really came. Maybe they'll come later as I have more time to process everything. I know that I am going to miss everyone so much though! It has been hard the past couple of days being away from my teammates. But at least I have Mary Grace with me still! (It's going to be a hard, sad day when I have to say goodbye to her!)

This week has been good so far. I've just been hanging out with MG and her family, and it's been fantastic. It's been relaxing, and enjoyable. And we haven't been in a rush to do anything at all. AMAZING! But it's also been great to just be around a family environment. I've greatly missed it! And it has shown me how much I have missed my family back home! But the Ballew's have been an amazing family to spend time with! And I am so glad that God has given me this opportunity!

I'm greatly looking forward to Friday though! Oh my goodness! I move into my dorm room on Friday! And I meet my roommate that day! And I get to start meeting new people! And I get to start New Student Orientation! I am so ready!!!!!! I'm so excited to see who God is going to bring into my life and who I am going to meet! Ah! And, I get to see my family soon! :) My parents and sister are driving out soon! And I can't wait to see them! I have missed them greatly!

I just know that God has amazing plans in store. I can feel it! And I know that as I seek after Him, He's going to guide me and help me through! :)