I've been going through a season where the pain as been less.
And it's been good.
It hasn't been easy, but it's been a blessing straight from the Lord.
The pain was less, and I was joyful.
The pain is starting to flow again though.
The pain of my broken heart is starting to become more and more real.
And today has been evident of that.
I've been struggling a lot more over the past few days.
My heart hurts more than it has in a few weeks.
This could be caused by the lack of communication between me and my parents.
(Talking to them everyday becomes rather difficult when I don't have access to my cell phone.)
The inability to talk to them has reopened the wound...
almost as if I'm truly realizing the what is happening.
You know, the reality of the situation.
It's all hitting again.
And I feel almost immobilized.
I've been struggling in desiring to come before the Father.
I know I need to.
And by a certain point in the day, I finally run to Him.
But I'm really struggling.
It's hard at times for me to even pray...I lack energy, and I feel a huge burden.
This is one of those times when I will have to labor in prayer.
It's not going to be an easy season of coming before the Father, but one that will require discipline on my part.
So I keep crying out to God.
I keep begging Him to remind me of my sin, of my unworthiness, so that His grace might become that much sweeter to me.
I keep asking Him to use this time in my life for His glory and for my sanctification.
In the end,
He is the only One who will satisfy me.
Even though I'm struggling, I can still see the beauty of His grace and the gospel.
And that, my friends, is all because of His grace that He has lavished on me.
On my own, I am prideful and arrogant, and I think that I can do things on my own.
But the gospel confronts those issues in my heart and tears them to pieces.
Praise God for this gospel of His!
So, yes, the pain and gravity of the situation with my dad is hitting my heart once again.
But the riches of God's glorious grace are also raining down on my heart.
I can only hope in Christ and ask that His will be done.
Blessings.
My heart hurts more than it has in a few weeks.
This could be caused by the lack of communication between me and my parents.
(Talking to them everyday becomes rather difficult when I don't have access to my cell phone.)
The inability to talk to them has reopened the wound...
almost as if I'm truly realizing the what is happening.
You know, the reality of the situation.
It's all hitting again.
And I feel almost immobilized.
I've been struggling in desiring to come before the Father.
I know I need to.
And by a certain point in the day, I finally run to Him.
But I'm really struggling.
It's hard at times for me to even pray...I lack energy, and I feel a huge burden.
This is one of those times when I will have to labor in prayer.
It's not going to be an easy season of coming before the Father, but one that will require discipline on my part.
So I keep crying out to God.
I keep begging Him to remind me of my sin, of my unworthiness, so that His grace might become that much sweeter to me.
I keep asking Him to use this time in my life for His glory and for my sanctification.
In the end,
He is the only One who will satisfy me.
Even though I'm struggling, I can still see the beauty of His grace and the gospel.
And that, my friends, is all because of His grace that He has lavished on me.
On my own, I am prideful and arrogant, and I think that I can do things on my own.
But the gospel confronts those issues in my heart and tears them to pieces.
Praise God for this gospel of His!
So, yes, the pain and gravity of the situation with my dad is hitting my heart once again.
But the riches of God's glorious grace are also raining down on my heart.
I can only hope in Christ and ask that His will be done.
Blessings.
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