Grace.

Well I guess it's about time I write...something.
I know,
I know.
It's been almost two weeks.

But honestly,
these two weeks have been super hard,
but great at the same time.
And I haven't had the time,
nor have I really felt like writing...
but I need to.
I gotta get it out of my heart and head
and onto "paper."

So.
Here goes.

I guess I really want to start with the goings-on with my dad this past week.
Last Sunday I got a call from my mom saying that my dad was on his way to the ER via ambulance. She said that he was having a ton of pain in his left hip and wasn't able to walk.
Thus begins my worry and pain because I wasn't able to be there for them.
Anyway, they ran a whole bunch of tests over the course of the next three days. (He had to be admitted to the hospital due to his pain and inability to walk.) And with each test, we never got any more answers.
Talk about frustrating.
Then they finally found out that he had a pinched nerve in his spine that could only be corrected with surgery.
But, he can't have surgery because he's doing chemo.
Goodness.
So, they decided to do an epidural to help control the pain.
That happened on Thursday.
And so he started walking a bit to get used to it again.
And on Friday he fell. (He's okay though. He just scraped up his knees pretty badly.) But because he fell, the doctors couldn't clear him to go home.
Today they transported him to a rehab center where he'll be until he's strong enough and stable enough in his walking abilities to go home.

It's been a hard week.
It reminded me so much of the week back in November when we first found out about his cancer.
And just as He was then, the Lord was and is faithful now.
He provided answers. He provided comfort.
He provided faith to trust Him.
There were many times this week I was overwhelmed and tempted to doubt the goodness of God.
But in those moments,
His love would flood my heart and my mind and draw me further into Himself.
I've been reminded this week of why I want to go home.

Even in the midst of the hard of the week,
the Lord has given me great cause to be joyful in Him.
My Growth Group (my small group at IDC) has been faithful in lifting me up before the Father.
And I am so thankful for each of them.
Because these people I have chosen to love and serve
have been helping me lean hard on Christ.
They are an evidence of God's grace in my life.
This past week Rachel and I have been talking a lot.
We've had some pretty late nights. But they've been wonderful.
I am going to greatly miss our chatting about Christ and the Gospel,
and about random little things.
She's been a source of great encouragement and love in my life.
And it's been so evident over this past week.

My life is full of grace.
Even though it's been hard,
I am still better off than I deserve.
I deserve to be suffering under the wrath of the Lord.
But in His Sovereignty, He's chosen me. He's redeemed me.
How beautiful is this grace.
How beautiful is this love.

Blessings.