Learning Equals Life

so my last blog was rather depressing. 

sorry about that. 

i was having a rough day/week.

but i'm doing a lot better now. 

and a lot of it has to do with God. 

transitioning to a life without my roommate turned out to be a lot harder than i thought it was going to be. i had gotten so used to always having someone around, or even just knowing that someone was going to be around when i woke up in the middle of the night or when i got up in the morning. i mean, i've been sharing a room with someone since the beginning of june. and before that, i lived in a house with my family. so i was just used to having people there. so when rachel wasn't there anymore...it was just really hard. 

i didn't understand what God was up to. i didn't understand why i had to go through this. i didn't understand what was really going on. i felt lost, alone, and miserable. 

that week was filled with tears, heartache, and lessons. 

time and time again, God taught me something. 

i think i learned some important lessons that i could have only learned that way. 

1. i have learned that i was way too dependent upon people. i hadn't realized that i was placing my hopes in the people around me. i was living for their acceptance, for their smiles, for their approval. and not having someone around me all the time really opened my eyes to this problem in my life. i've been able to take a good look at my life and allow God to start working in me in some different ways that He couldn't have done otherwise. 

2. i have learned that He does have a plan through all things. i've been able to spend extra time with Him without worrying about being interrupted or anything like that. which is a great thing. i don't think i've had this kind of quality time with Him since i left home back in May. so it's been good. and in spending some time with Him, He's made it perfectly clear that He does in fact have a plan for my life. i started thinking that He didn't, because i have absolutely no idea what i want to do with the rest of my life. (i don't like being asked what i want to do when i get out of college anymore, because i simply don't know. i don't know what i want to do. i don't even know what tomorrow is going to look like, so how can i look down the road 5 years ahead. ha.) anyway, through everything, God has made it perfectly clear that He has a plan. and He's going to guide me down the right path. i just have to be willing to follow Him in the small and big things of my life. He's going to show me what He wants me to do and where He wants me to go.
and finally:

3. i have learned that God will provide. after that week, i was in great need of some close friends to visit! and what do you know, krystal, rachel, and mandy came to visit for the weekend! no matter what i face, God is going to provide for me. this past week, my car was broken...it was leaking oil, badly, so i needed to get it fixed. and God took care of getting it fixed within a couple days. God will provide the big and little things. and He will work all things out for His glory. i had a breakdown on sunday after seeing my car leaking oil, and i called my dad crying. and he said to look at it not as things going wrong. well, that stuck with me all week and even right now. up till then, i had been looking at a lot of things as going wrong. not going according to my plan. BUT all of these things aren't going wrong. they are the plans of the Almighty. and He's working everything out for my good. He's been using this time in my life to shape and mold me into the person He can use later on in life. it's not easy, but i have hope that He's doing this. God knew all this would happen long before i was even born. how comforting is this! He's in control. and i'm so thankful.

so it's been an interesting couple of weeks. 

i've been so busy with school and life.

this past week, especially, has been rather crazy. 

but it's been good. 

God has been good this week. 

anyway, i have more homework to finish up so that i can just chill for a while. 

blessings!