Who knew?

Who knew that this would happen?
Who knew my dad would
be diagnosed with cancer
the week after Thanksgiving?
God did.
Honestly, I think that's the only
thing that is getting me through this.
The knowledge of the truth.
I'm resting in the fact
that the Lord is God.
He is Maker.
This did not catch Him off guard at all.
He knew that
my dad would go into the hospital on Sunday
and would be told Wednesday that he has cancer.
He knew.
And that comforts me.

Last night after I found out the news,
I came back to the apartment
and cried for a while.
And then I went with Rachel
to Growth Group,
because I knew that I needed to
be around friends;
I needed to be around people
who would lift me up to
our Father,
because at that moment,
I was too weak to go myself.
And that's exactly what
they did.
They lifted me and my family
up before the Father,
and they showered me with love.
The Body of Christ served me well
last night.
And I'm so thankful for all
of the brothers and sisters
the Lord has blessed me with.

I'm learning to take this
 moment by moment.
I'm learning
that it's okay
to cry and let it out.
And the Lord is teaching
me how to acknowledge
my trust in Him,
even as all this is going on.

It's amazing how powerful
the Word of the Lord is.
Even as tears flow down my face,
His Word reminds me
of His faithfulness,
His goodness,
His holiness,
His righteousness--
all of the things that I praise Him for.
And it's praising Him that
my heart is incited to do.
It's one of the weirdest feelings:
to be grieving over this news,
yet praising the Lord for who He is
and thanking Him for what He is doing.
Yes, it hurts thinking
about this cancer that is living in my dad.
It's scary thinking
that this could claim His life.
But my God is greater than that.
He has power over the grave.
He is good. He is Healer.
He is loving and kind.
And He would not allow
this in my dad's life, in my life,
in my family's life,
if it did not serve His purpose.
So,
I believe that this has a greater
purpose
than any of us could
have ever imagined.
I believe that whether my dad
is healed from this cancer,
or if he dies from this cancer,
he will bring glory to the Most High.

The Lord have His way in my life
and in my dad's life.
May He be greatly glorified.
May His Gospel be advanced because of this.
May my heart yearn to be closer to Him.
May my family seek after the Lord and His presence
during this time.
He is good.
He is in control.
I trust Him.

Blessings.

Psalm 61:1-4
"Hear my cry, O God;
Give heed to my prayer.
From the end of the earth I call to You when my heart is faint;
Lead me to the rock that is higher than I.
For You have been a refuge for me,
A tower of strength against the enemy.
Let me dwell in Your tent forever;
Let me take refuge in the shelter of Your wings."